Virtual Reality .V2.0
My personal ranting site. Unsuitable for any readers under twelve lest they suffer from brain damage after reading my colourful language and everything that goes along with it. - I refuse to take any responsibility for any minds that were tainted by me.
That's it.
Blogspot does not like me.
This damn window keeps on hanging everytime i write an entry.
Therefore, i'm abandoning this blog - until further notice.
Urgh.
Watching that 70's show right now - it is damn funny.
And it attests to my friends' opinions that all men think about is sex.
Tell me if i'm wrong - i'm open to ideas.
Some things should be done tactfully.
Others should not.
It's irritating and borders closely on manipulation.
And other than anger and wrath, nothing else is more evident.
Eyes narrow.
Teeth clench.
Hands fist.
It may have been done in good will, but you played me for a fool.
Therefore -
Teeth clench.
Hands fist.
Eyes narrow.
I dislike you.
The doors are closed.
You cannot weave those lies no more.
Layering
Layer by layer, again and again.
It was something she understood - something that was fact set in stone, engraved in the ages, yet it was only now that realization had sunk in.
These people...
The smiles, the laughter and the intricate lively dances woven together into a beautiful sticky web.
Tangles.
They were as real as the intangible ideals people hold dear to their hearts.
They were as solid as air.
They were no more than nothingness.
She understood that there were facades - too many to count, too many layers woven in.
And yet she had let herself embrace that seemingly perfect, that seemingly wonderous thing.
What was she thinking?
Or rather, was she even thinking at all?
And when that tangle snapped and wavered under tension, she caught a glimpse of the ugliness within.
It make her recoil in a mixture of fear and disgust.
She saw the hidden depths.
She saw the imperfection.
And suddenly, was reminded that it never was perfect in the first place.
...
Perhaps that was why she was here now, standing here at the edge between reason and idealism.
Standing at the edge...
For he, the epitome of perfection and everything she dreamed of, had reached out to her...
And asked her to come along.
She smiled - a rather bittersweet thing.
She would, will, always choose idealism.
"You came."
She smiled, reveling in the dark velvets of his voice. "Yes, i did."
"Let us go."
She nodded once, turning to follow him almost at once, never sparing that cold, practical reality another glance as she faded into the haze of perfection.
(c) blade 2006
Oh gosh.
I just came back from the NUS musical - Swingers, i think. Ah~ Heck the name. Anyway, yeah, just came back like...an hour ago. Stupid shit.
There was a jam on the way back which costs me 18 bucks in cab fare. Damn.
Anyway, that's not the worst of it.
The musical, which costs 15 bucks, was the worst musical experience i had the misfortune of ever experiencing.
The 2 hours plus was pure torture.
If not for the fact that my dear friend and her co-actor, and some other side actor that went by the name of Ricado or something of that sort, i would have left without a second thought.
It was a musical.
So the most important thing is supposed to be the music, right?
Which was horrifying.
The lyrics were terrible. And believe me - i'm not known to be fussy about music but i cringed at the lyrics. They don't flow, they don't rhyme, they don't sound nice with the tune. Basically, it's like trying to fit a piece of prose comprising of huge bombastic words into music.
It didn't work.
In fact, it more than didn't work.
It turned out to be a nightmare.
Plus, the actors and actresses can't sing for nuts. Or at least they can't on stage because they kept going off-tune. So think about it: The lyrics were nightmarish, plus, the singers couldn't sing it right.
Like duh~ That's what you get for trying to act, dance and sing at the same time. Not to mention you're on a stage with lights. Come on! The least you can do is to pre-record the music! At least something will turn out right - not that it helps much since the lyrics were terrible.
Yes!
I just can't get over the fact that the lyrics were so horrendous. Like...if you can't write lyrics, don't! Especially not for a musical which tickets cost 15 freakin' bucks!
And yeah.
The props were rather slipshod too, unprofessional and all but yeah, i can close an eye to that since it is a musical and all.
And my conclusion?
I'm never ever gonna attend another NUS play ever again, especially when it is overpriced with music that makes me cringe. And that's a first. I can't ever remember having cringed at music before - not unless you count the chalk screeches on the chalkboard as music.
Plus, the roses were wilted, dead and dying. And they cost a freakin' two bucks.
Argh.
Bad experience.
Very bad experience.
I'm never gonna go back there again.
I mean, if you're gonna hold a musical, the least you can do is put your best effort into it instead of coming up with some slipshod work. It makes me wonder what the heck the rest of the audience were doing, clapping and cheering so loudly and enthusiastically for such~ argh.
Plus! The jokes they made should never surface in a supposed 'classy' theatre that only allows late entry during breaks.
Gosh.
I don't know whether to laugh or to cry at the fact i just wasted my friday night.
Well, at least i met up with my dear friend. I guess that overrides everything else.
However!
This doesn't change the fact that the play still sucks.
It's a fact set in stone.
How unfortunate for them~ (Like i really care)
On impulse, i clicked on Hong Lou Meng - the recording we did during enCOre and i realised how much i loved, love Chinese Orchestra.
The music, the feeling, the pure rush of emotions and adrenaline. The height of emotions that can be distinctly felt in the music and i realize what is missing.
This is.
This rush of emotions.
This passion.
This wonderful wonderful feeling.
I want to play again.
Not just with Kurenai, but with the orchestra. The practice, the music, the making faces at people sitting opposite you, the poking people awake and the countless amounts of sweets. The dismayed feeling that settles in the pit of your stomach as you realize that you simply cannot understand what the conductor is trying to say. And of course, the getting lost in the scores, the out of tunes, the screeching and my dearest partner playing cute silly songs silently to stave off the boredom as the conductor concentrates on some other section.
I love it.
I miss it.
It is beautiful and it is such a wonderful experience.
The sweaty palms. The cold fingers. The nervousness and excitment as you're faced with the stagelights. The flipping of scores. The changing of scores. The timing. The shrill pitch of the dizi. The melodious melodious gaohu that they make seem effortless.
I love it.
I want it.
I even miss the politics, if only because life is never perfect and imperfection is a form of perfection in itself. And the constant teasing. And the "cannot make it"s that always seem to come my way.
It all comes down to nostalgia i guess.
The grass here is sweet.
But the grass there is beautifully lush and green and the lingering sweetness will never go away.
The people.
The teachers.
All the crappy stupid stuff we faced.
The tears.
The laughter.
The wonder of it all.
It's different - performing on stage and sitting down in the audience and just passively listening. There is no rush, no heightened emotions, no adrenaline. No passion.
And that is what is missing.
For now at least.
I should go, for biz law is waiting.
Distance
Distance - it was like a huge gaping hole between them that could never be breached. He because he could not reach her, and she because she would not reach out.
It was something that would remain between them forever. That icy dark gap between them - something intangible and yet so very real.
He could almost feel it, taste it - in her speech, actions and every little thing she did, and it frustrated him so much that that gap was there.
That damned distance was there and he could never get her, hold her and be allowed to love her.
And that was why when he stumbled onto the deck and saw her reaching out to the stars, leaning against the metal rail with dried tear tracks on her cheeks, he could only hide in the corner and watch her.
Always watch her and make sure she would never fall too far such that she would be unable to climb back up again.
As he always did.
As he always will do.
She stepped back from the rail, the wistfulness she always portrayed no longer present in her features and he melted into the deep shadows.
She would never know that he was always watching her.
Watching her as she went back into her dorm, he knew, with a certainty - that the next day he saw her, the tear tracks would have been long gone and that the shadows of darkness would have faded, only to surface again at night.
He wondered if she ever knew of the distance between them, large and gaping, and the fact that he would never be able to breach it - not alone.
He would probably never know.
(c) blade 2006
Hm...a sleep deprived brain always ends up with me coming up with such twisted, complicated stuff. Rather dark material though, don'cha think?
iced_blade
~ Her Favorites ~Anime
Writings
Any animal that isn't a reptile...oh yeah, and no frogs and insects
Titan, Kiki and Sparkles~
Cute Kawaii Bishounen!(Like Narumi from Gakuen Alice) or bad-ass anime heros like Natsume-kun! and Neji! (Funny how both their surnames are Hyuuga. Hahaz)
Stupid, helpless people who think they're so smart. Argh, i can go on and on. But then again, what's the point in doing so right? Their insignificance isn't even worth mentioning here.
~ Wishlist ~Confidence, Decisiveness and Courage. And of course, for my inspiration and affinity with spelling to come back to me!!
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Guess what?! I decided to put all the quiz results here! hahaz. just for fun.
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