Cruel
teaser
He hated to see her cry, so when he saw those precious tears leak out her eyes, he wanted to kill something. The only thing was that the one he should kill was himself.
"I'm sorry." The apology was automatic as it rolled off his tongue. She shook her head, closing her eyes.
"There is nothing we can do, is there?" She asked, a cynical smile upon her beautiful face. Her eyes were trained at the ground. He wanted so much to see her eyes.
He shook his head, hands fisting subconsciously at his side as he was once again reminded how helpless the situation was. "No." His voice was low and resigned.
She looked up then. "Then you must go." He could see her fighting to keep her tears in, and she was succeeding. She was always strong. That made it all the sadder now that she was trying not to cry. "There is no other way."
He wanted to deny and tell her that surely...surely there was some other way. Surely there was a way for both of them to live a happily ever after!
"You must go." She repeated once again and his denial, his resolve at finding something, anything to aid them crumbled.
"You won't be here when I come back." It was a statement. She tried to smile, failing miserably. A tear broke free and slid down her smooth cheek.
"No I won't," was her whispered reply. "This- This will-" She shook her head, steeling herself for what she was about to say.
A sense of irrational fear coursed through him then. Impulsively, he threw his arms around her and crushed her to his chest. "Don't." He pleaded, voice harsh.
He felt her arms snake around his torso to embrace him back. Her bony fingers latched onto the cotton fabric of his shirt and clung to it like a lifeline.
"This- Alex, this will-"
"Don't!" He shouted, burying his face in her soft black hair the texture of silk. "Don't say it!"
He felt, rather than saw, her burrow her face in his chest and felt his shirt grow damp. She took a shuddering breath and he was suddenly very afraid of what she was about to say.
"This is goodbye." Her voice was watery and weak, unlike the usual cool and confident tone he likened her to.
He closed his eyes in defeat, tears leaking out of his eyes as he held her closer, if that was even possible.
"I-" She broke off.
"I'd miss you." She finally said.
The less emotional part of his mind reminded him that she was never one for declarations of love and that he was very privileged to have pried the confession out of her.
"I love you.' He said. The words were familiar, to them both. He said it too many times, and she heard it once too many.
He felt her stiffen, then pull out of his crushing embrace. He let her. She stepped back, wrapping her thin arms around herself, all the while holding him in silent regard.
He submitted himself to her scrutiny, losing himself in her beautiful, if not watery, black orbs the color of ink. Finally, she graced him with a sincere sad smile.
"I love you too."
It was nothing more than a whisper, but he heard it loud and clear and that was enough for him. He smiled, feeling rather torn inside. She loved him, really loved him, and yet…
He took a step forward, gently pulling her into his arms until they were mere centimeters apart.
"Thank you," he whispered before kissing her chastely on the lips.
They parted a moment later. She was smiling through her tears. And then she kissed him.
They parted, only to breathe and continue again.
Words were not enough to express what they felt for each other, and so no more words were given.
-END-
(c) blade 2006
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