Distance
Distance - it was like a huge gaping hole between them that could never be breached. He because he could not reach her, and she because she would not reach out.
It was something that would remain between them forever. That icy dark gap between them - something intangible and yet so very real.
He could almost feel it, taste it - in her speech, actions and every little thing she did, and it frustrated him so much that that gap was there.
That damned distance was there and he could never get her, hold her and be allowed to love her.
And that was why when he stumbled onto the deck and saw her reaching out to the stars, leaning against the metal rail with dried tear tracks on her cheeks, he could only hide in the corner and watch her.
Always watch her and make sure she would never fall too far such that she would be unable to climb back up again.
As he always did.
As he always will do.
She stepped back from the rail, the wistfulness she always portrayed no longer present in her features and he melted into the deep shadows.
She would never know that he was always watching her.
Watching her as she went back into her dorm, he knew, with a certainty - that the next day he saw her, the tear tracks would have been long gone and that the shadows of darkness would have faded, only to surface again at night.
He wondered if she ever knew of the distance between them, large and gaping, and the fact that he would never be able to breach it - not alone.
He would probably never know.
(c) blade 2006
Hm...a sleep deprived brain always ends up with me coming up with such twisted, complicated stuff. Rather dark material though, don'cha think?
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