Virtual Reality .V2.0
My personal ranting site. Unsuitable for any readers under twelve lest they suffer from brain damage after reading my colourful language and everything that goes along with it. - I refuse to take any responsibility for any minds that were tainted by me.
School starts tomorrow.
The freaking out stage is over and now, my mind is preoccupied with what i need to bring for tomorrow. I have this feeling i forgot something - i always forget something, and i can't remember what. Well duh, i forgot it.
Crap.
Anyway, yeah.
I've this feeling i'm not gonna be able to sleep tonight - my mind would be checking against the list to help me figure out what to bring tomorrow, or if i forgot anything that i need, or would be doing lah dee dah.
I hate this part of life.
Or rather, yeah, the part that causes me to lose sleep.
Argh.
Oh well, it happened, is happening and will happen again.
Life is life.
The back door has vanished and the only way is the door in front.
I have this feeling that my writing style has been afftected by muscle museum. It's a weird song - reminds me of dark dank alley ways. Odd.
P.S: My notebook is damn heavy. Damn.
Well well well~
So like, i've just watched Click today and i realised what a coincidence it is - considering that my entry before this was about priorities.
Anyway, Click was a cool movie - for those that hasn't watched it, go watch! It's nice. A comedy, but well...you might need tissues around. So yeah, bring your tissues people!
But even though it was a comedy, it really was kinda deep.
And i probably should confess that i may just be guilty of his mistakes too.
It's like, when you've got so much to do, you kinda lose track of everything, you know~
So i've decided!
A balance is required.
The only problem is how to achieve that balance...
...
I'm sleep-deprived, brain-dead and rather hyper, which doesn't really make any sense and so i think i'm rather OOC right now.
Perhaps i should leave the deep reflections to another day, when i'm less likely to spew rubbish every time my fingers touch the keyboard.
Yeah.
I think i should.
My writing days are officially over - or rather, my long periods of writing are. All those multi-parts are now gonna be chucked to the darkest recesses of my mind and well...left to ferment until i can a) figure out a plot, b) finding time and discipline to write them and c) actually writing them down.
It's kinda sad, really, but on the list of priorities, it's at the rock bottom, so yeah. Goodbye, farewell and goodnight, my dear muse!!
I have a feeling that i've jumped on the fast track of the train and am just travelling along, not noticing the scenery and all the pretty things that go along with it. And to think school hasn't even started yet.
You know those introspective moods? The ones that leave you feeling detached and rather in a haze? Yeah, those. I haven't had them in a long long while and it's so weird. Odd, and rather disturbing. It's like...i'm just going with the flow or something - you know, just travelling along and stuff. And that's not good, or at least, i don't think it is.
Crap.
Well...i guess the rapids are more fitting a comparison than the fast moving train. The train...the journey feels kinda rough. Not to say that the rapids aren't; they're just too fast and cold for one to feel anything. Or at least that's the impression i get - since i've never been on the rapids before...
I need a purpose in life, something to anchor me and stuff. Same ol', same ol'. The lack of ambition and all that.
I mean, one's purpose is a very important thing. Otherwise, we'll just be drifting along with time and going with the flow. Then what?
Then what?
Then when you look back, you see that time has just flown by in a blink of an eye. And you wonder - what have i been doing all this while? It's rather frightening, in a way. It's always a matter of time management, lah dee dah. That's what everyone says. But time management to do what? And why?
Scary, isn't it?
Perhaps i should go read the 'Purpose-driven life' again. I'm on the next chapter of my life - it's time i've found my purpose.
Hm...the twisted stuff that gets coaxed out of my brain by a song. Listening to Unintended by Muse. I blame the friend who got me hooked on it!
Picture this - you're trying to jump down from a fast-moving train. Are you able to? Can you?
Your heart is thudding furiously, and your hands are wet and clammy. You have to jump! But you can't.
The ground is rough and sharp with stones and it blurs before your eyes - it is too fast!
Your grip on the railing tightens as your legs start to shake.
You are frightened.
It will hurt, you know it.
You will survive it - it was almost a surety.
And yet...
You just can't.
It was fast, too fast.
The clock's ticking and time is running out.
You glance forward, only to see the road coming to an end a distance away.
Too small a distance away.
You bite back a sob and try not to cry.
Closing your eyes, you will your feet forward, forcing your grip apart.
And then you jumped.
(c) blade 2006
Time is flying by too fast. Or is it just me?
Passion
Being a mercenary was very much different from being a soldier - as he begins to realize. It was, for one, much more detached. After all, fighting for another, fighting for some other cause but his own, didn't serve to make him passionate.
Not about fighting.
Not about caring.
He never really understood the difference before - never understood why countries would not just surrender, never understood why they would just keep on fighting even though the odds were stacked high against them.
He thinks he understands it much better now.
After all, he has something precious to protect now.
Granted, it was nothing as large as a country, nor nothing as important (to others) as his other missions. Yet...it was precious.
And now, he can feel the passion.
He can feel the adrenaline coursing though his veins - even as they continue to bleed dry.
But it does not matter.
He has someone to protect and he will die before he allows anything to happen to her.
It is sad, he thinks, that he had never understood before.
Never understood the meaning of dying for one's country.
Never understood the passion behind it all.
Never understood where that drive came from.
A smile graced his lips.
At least - he understands it now.
And it is not too late.
Not for her anyway.
(c) blade 2006
Whoo! This was hard, and i think there are some really blaring grammar mistakes there... but then again, i'm not too sure. So yeah.
Well...yeah. Happy Birthday S'pore!!
Whoa, it's been a while since i last wrote a decent entry on this blog - sans all the fleeting inspirations that leave me feeling rather morbid and introspective each time...
I'm feeling entirely random today - which is a really odd thing because usually, i have this urge to just do something. Unfortunately, it isn't the case. It's funny really. I'm sleepy, but i don't wish to sleep...you know, lack of leisure and all that.
Don't look at me like that!
...
Okay. Fine! Yes, i have been slacking for more than half a year now, but well...one could never have enough leisure time, right?
Right.
So yeah. I'm like...i'm not too sure how to describe this state of mind. Well...i guess detached's a good word to use. I'm rather peeved that my dictionary is missing - something that has never happened before since i've moved house. I wonder if i misplaced it or if someone actually kidnapped it and happily waltzed away with it.
I mean, i have this vague impression that it was on the table when i left for camp...and it's no longer there now. I love my dictionary. It's a very important tool, especially for writing purposes and well...something to stave off the boredom. (is that the right word to use? Oh crap, where's my dictionary when i need it!)
I must be really bored here, if i actually managed to dedicate two whole paragraphs to it. Argh, don't mind me. I just need to type something down. You know, to sort out thoughts and all. I'm not sure what to think actually - about everything. It's like a fogged up world...you know? The haze and all? Well yeah, that's basically it.
I'm actually rather tempted to blame it on the lack of ambition but well...it shouldn't really be the case. Not exactly. So yeah. I'm stuck.
Oh yes, the camp! The business Bondue camp @ SMU.
Crap. This is not good. There is something seriously wrong with me. I spent three days and two nights enjoying myself at the camp and all that comes out of my brain is what?! The camp is fun.
Gosh.
Surely i can be more descriptive than that!
Apparently, my brain doesn't agree with me, so yeah. That's about all i can say - The bondue camp is fun. I didn't get much sleep though, but then again, who actually sleeps at camp? Okay...so maybe some people do, but i've kinda cultivated the habit of not sleeping at camps - unless of course, i'm at high risk of dropping dead the next day. Which is well...what i think will happen at CircleX, so there. Gonna have'ta sleep for that one.
But i digress.
The camp! Well...i was in group 19 and yeah. We were rather slack - which is pleasant and very fine by me. Hahaz. In case you didn't know, i'm an official slacker here. So yeah. Hahaz. The facilitators were cool and i'm really glad to say i made new friends there. So there! Okay...i guess that's a better description than "the camp's fun." Not all that much better, but yeah. I guess it works for now.
I need to get out of this haze - though it seems that penning down my extremely random thoughts doesn't seem to work, which is really quite crappy but yeah.
I'm toying with the idea of setting up a new blog, or a livejournal account to, you know...stuff all my drabbles there instead of here. It's kinda a mess, don'cha think? I mean, my insane ramblings all mixed up with my fleeting pieces of inspiration...
Hm...i wonder if anyone actually reads this crap i write? Cause the last time i checked, it seems that people actually follow this. I'm really quite surprised. Of course, i have no way to keep track of everything - since i'm just too lazy to get a counter and a tagboard / tagbox is out of the question.
Why, you ask?
Long story. Fullstop.
Well yeah...so like...where was i again?
Oh, yeah. Livejournal. Or maybe friendster - but i think not. There's too much traffic over there. Hahaz. Besides, i'm not a big fan of friendster - though i can't exactly remember the reason why.
For you guys out there who actually read my entries and acutally managed to make head or tail out of this entry - i salute you.
Since i can't really follow what i wrote either.
Gah.
iced_blade
~ Her Favorites ~Anime
Writings
Any animal that isn't a reptile...oh yeah, and no frogs and insects
Titan, Kiki and Sparkles~
Cute Kawaii Bishounen!(Like Narumi from Gakuen Alice) or bad-ass anime heros like Natsume-kun! and Neji! (Funny how both their surnames are Hyuuga. Hahaz)
Stupid, helpless people who think they're so smart. Argh, i can go on and on. But then again, what's the point in doing so right? Their insignificance isn't even worth mentioning here.
~ Wishlist ~Confidence, Decisiveness and Courage. And of course, for my inspiration and affinity with spelling to come back to me!!
* tagboard here *
Guess what?! I decided to put all the quiz results here! hahaz. just for fun.
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